Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
got my google wave invite; not sure what's so great about it
It seems sort of cumbersome. You have to click "reply" and then type in your response, then click "done". Please. Why can't it know that I want to respond because I have clicked within the pane? Also, it is SO browser-based. It doesn't alert me (via email or text) when a new wave is started - I have to have my browser open. Maybe there's a setting - nope, just checked - that area is still under construction. But they have my email address! I know many people are making up new email addresses for this, but shouldn't there at least be a "email me at this address when a new wave is begun?" option.
I agree with http://paulbuchheit.blogspot.com/2009/11/so-i-finally-tried-wave.html and http://scienceoftheinvisible.blogspot.com/2009/11/google-wave-algorithm.html - that wave is part of a bigger plan. And maybe embeddable widgets will be the killer app.
Wave - as a beta, yeah, it works okay, but the concept is not up to speed.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
browser progress-love how FF remembers the title of the article, not just the URL
sort of a random comment, but it is really awesome when you remember only the article title, but not the URL and you don't want to sift through your entire hugely long browser history
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Joke: Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday...
"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." - Johnny Carson
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
was told solution to the facebook wingdings problem
if you add "s" after http - so it's https:// and put facebook into secure mode, it displays just fine! chat doesn't work, but i don't really use that anyway, so i don't care. and sometimes you have to add "s" time and again, but it's worth it to be able to see facebook from my desktop instead of having to go to my laptop. and contrary to popular belief, i actually HAVE CLIENTS asking my advice about facebook, so it's a good thing to be able to see... :-)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
“Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.” A.H. Weiler
Writer/critic A.H. Weiler, quoted in the Daytona Beach, Fla., News-Journal
Friday, September 18, 2009
no adulterating the kraft mac n cheese - to a kid, it's a pure, pure food
Aunt Julie wanted to add real cheese to the kraft mac n cheese, forgetting that the last time she did that, the food was roundly rejected by the kids. To them, it is a pure, pure food. Don't mess with it!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
listening to WFUV playing all beatles all day
http://wfuv.org for streaming. beatles and others covering beatles.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
good news on brain tumors
progress on crossing the blood-brain barrier. http://cancerres.aacrjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/69/15/6200?ct=ct
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Julia Status
She's much better. No fever today, running around being very busy. She is so much like me and Rick. Even when we're sick, the symptoms are milder than other people, which is awesome.
I'll keep an eye on her and hope fever doesn't re-develop.
I'll keep an eye on her and hope fever doesn't re-develop.
A Portrait of David
A very special person, Karen Schmidt, has a website called Send Me Your Head. She's involved in a project which requires to paint many 3" x 3" portraits. I found out about her from The Bloggess and sent her David's photograph. I sent it Saturday 6/13, and she painted him immediately and posted the portrait on 6/15/09.
I am honored and touched.
I am honored and touched.
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Flu
Well, I guess it's our turn. The flu has been rampant in Maplewood-South Orange for a few weeks now. Lots of kids are out of school - if they have "flu-like symptoms", i.e. fever of over 100 degrees F and a cough, they have to stay out for seven days.
Miss J has a fever, but no cough. The school nurse called me today, following up on a reported absence. J is pretty much here until Thursday at the earliest, unless she's fever-free tomorrow.
It's the last full week of school! Pretty ironic. So she might be back for part of the week, or maybe for the last half-day of school.
She doesn't feel that bad. I got some Tylenol into her, and she felt better enough to eat 2 waffles with syrup and then two scrambled eggs with ketchup. She's watching Noggin and does not want to nap.
I'm so glad I work from home, so I can be with her and still be on the job.
Miss J has a fever, but no cough. The school nurse called me today, following up on a reported absence. J is pretty much here until Thursday at the earliest, unless she's fever-free tomorrow.
It's the last full week of school! Pretty ironic. So she might be back for part of the week, or maybe for the last half-day of school.
She doesn't feel that bad. I got some Tylenol into her, and she felt better enough to eat 2 waffles with syrup and then two scrambled eggs with ketchup. She's watching Noggin and does not want to nap.
I'm so glad I work from home, so I can be with her and still be on the job.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Dog Day Afternoon
So my doorbell rings, twice, insistently, and I go down the stairs grumbling, "who the hell is this, and why are they such a pain in the ass?"
It's my across-the-street neighbor Kristen (so I immediately lose the attitude, since she is a sweetie, and I am just a grumpy "why do I have to go down 2 flights of stairs to open the gol-darn door" kind of person). She points to my friend Viv, who is herding a large yellow Lab. Can they park the Lab in my back yard, which is the only fenced one around, while they call animal control to report a wandering dog?
Yes, indeed, I say, and we go around the back and let the dog in, and I give him some water. His name, which is on his tags, is Buddy, and there is no answer at the phone number listed on his tag.
Kristen calls animal control, Viv goes off to give my sister a massage (my sister lives 2 doors from me - it's a pretty cozy neighborhood), and I decide to try to call the owners again.
I leave a message, and the animal control person turns up. She is extremely nice, and we have a long talk, I introduce her to my cat, and we decide Buddy should just stay with me instead of going to the shelter. If I have any problems, I'll call her back.
I leave another message with the owners, and then I look at the map (Buddy's address is on his tag, too), and realize they're only 3 blocks from me. So I decide to leave them a note to find when they come home so they don't wonder where the dog is and get worried before they pick up messages.
As I am leaving the owners' house, I hear someone calling "Buddy!" It's his owner and her toddler son! Yay!
So we walk to my house, where Buddy is very happy to see them. Having lost the leash on the way, the owner accepts my offer of a rope, since Buddy has no intention of walking quietly. He may be 11 years old, but by gum, he's having a good time!
All's well that ends well.
It's my across-the-street neighbor Kristen (so I immediately lose the attitude, since she is a sweetie, and I am just a grumpy "why do I have to go down 2 flights of stairs to open the gol-darn door" kind of person). She points to my friend Viv, who is herding a large yellow Lab. Can they park the Lab in my back yard, which is the only fenced one around, while they call animal control to report a wandering dog?
Yes, indeed, I say, and we go around the back and let the dog in, and I give him some water. His name, which is on his tags, is Buddy, and there is no answer at the phone number listed on his tag.
Kristen calls animal control, Viv goes off to give my sister a massage (my sister lives 2 doors from me - it's a pretty cozy neighborhood), and I decide to try to call the owners again.
I leave a message, and the animal control person turns up. She is extremely nice, and we have a long talk, I introduce her to my cat, and we decide Buddy should just stay with me instead of going to the shelter. If I have any problems, I'll call her back.
I leave another message with the owners, and then I look at the map (Buddy's address is on his tag, too), and realize they're only 3 blocks from me. So I decide to leave them a note to find when they come home so they don't wonder where the dog is and get worried before they pick up messages.
As I am leaving the owners' house, I hear someone calling "Buddy!" It's his owner and her toddler son! Yay!
So we walk to my house, where Buddy is very happy to see them. Having lost the leash on the way, the owner accepts my offer of a rope, since Buddy has no intention of walking quietly. He may be 11 years old, but by gum, he's having a good time!
All's well that ends well.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sadness
Just also want to say that it's the season of sadness. I miss my boy David incredibly. He'd be 10 years old on May 16th.
Feeling sad is okay. In fact, my Lexapro prescription ran out and I couldn't get it refilled for over a week. So I took the opportunity to decrease my dosage to see how I do. Pretty good, so far.
How Kids Learn
I was thinking about how kids learn. I saw Julia take something in yesterday and roll it around in her mind. Then she decided what it meant to her. I have no idea what that was - and probably won't until much later, when it manifests itself in some behavior or attitude.
How did I take things in and process them? I wish I could remember being 7 years old better.
I was going to say we have to be really careful about what we teach and how we act, but you know, that's sort of paranoid.
If I can apologize for something, then I can help un-learn something or re-learn it. Life is a process, with nothing set in stone.
Relax!!
How did I take things in and process them? I wish I could remember being 7 years old better.
I was going to say we have to be really careful about what we teach and how we act, but you know, that's sort of paranoid.
If I can apologize for something, then I can help un-learn something or re-learn it. Life is a process, with nothing set in stone.
Relax!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Back to Work
We just had a week's vacation. For once, it really was a vacation. I had only two work emergencies, and my boss took care of most of the other things. So I spent only a few hours instead of half my vacation working. The two programmers I'm working with were also awesome.
It really disappointed me that I could not rely on another work associate. It's not clear what's up with that. He has this image of himself as a barely competent project manager, and so it is self-fulfilling. He wants the hours - he has to do the work! Even for ADD sufferers, there are tools - lists, reminders, strategies. Don't just throw up your hands and hope someone else will take care of it. I'm not always going to be available to save you!
Okay, enough ranting.
I am trying to find a teapot of the style my mother-in-law admired in Seagrove, N.C. We left without my having an opportunity to buy it for her for Christmas. Haven't found the perfect thing yet, but I do have a lead. The potters down there are more web-friendly now, which is helpful for this New Jersey gal!
It really disappointed me that I could not rely on another work associate. It's not clear what's up with that. He has this image of himself as a barely competent project manager, and so it is self-fulfilling. He wants the hours - he has to do the work! Even for ADD sufferers, there are tools - lists, reminders, strategies. Don't just throw up your hands and hope someone else will take care of it. I'm not always going to be available to save you!
Okay, enough ranting.
I am trying to find a teapot of the style my mother-in-law admired in Seagrove, N.C. We left without my having an opportunity to buy it for her for Christmas. Haven't found the perfect thing yet, but I do have a lead. The potters down there are more web-friendly now, which is helpful for this New Jersey gal!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Skype Resolution
It may well have been a bug, but it fixed itself (with a little help from 12seconds.tv).
I finally got a response from Skype customer support - 3 days later. The first part simply reiterated the Skype site's FAQ. Not helpful. The second part recommended third party software, which I was definitely willing to try. So that was helpful.
But when I looked at Options/Video in Skype again, I was able to see two different webcams and choose the Veo.
What happened?
Well, in the meantime, I had posted my first video to 12seconds.tv using the Veo webcam. So what must have happened is that using the Veo in another application "woke up" Skype, allowing it to see the Veo.
Huh. I'd say that's a bug.
But it's fixed now, and I'm glad.
When Skype sent me a questionnaire about customer service, I explained the whole thing, hoping it'll help another lost soul.
I finally got a response from Skype customer support - 3 days later. The first part simply reiterated the Skype site's FAQ. Not helpful. The second part recommended third party software, which I was definitely willing to try. So that was helpful.
But when I looked at Options/Video in Skype again, I was able to see two different webcams and choose the Veo.
What happened?
Well, in the meantime, I had posted my first video to 12seconds.tv using the Veo webcam. So what must have happened is that using the Veo in another application "woke up" Skype, allowing it to see the Veo.
Huh. I'd say that's a bug.
But it's fixed now, and I'm glad.
When Skype sent me a questionnaire about customer service, I explained the whole thing, hoping it'll help another lost soul.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
New Skype version is annoying me - can't change default webcam
Grr. I had Skype working just fine with my ooooooold Veo webcam, but nooooooo, then I had to download the new version. And selecting a default webcam NO LONGER WORKS. They didn't include that feature in this new version. Grr. I have a support call in, but I suspect this is a bug they'll have to fix in a new release.
More on Uncle Ron
He died March 14, in the early afternoon. I had been going to see him, but I was a week late. I'm glad I talked with him before he went.
I kind of knew it would happen - when cancer blows up that fast and big, it's pretty much over. He spent the last days reviewing his life, talking to people from the past.
Thankfully, his brother made it there the day before he died.
It really hasn't hit me yet. I think I have a huge callus over my heart. I can't take in any more grief right now. Full up.
I kind of knew it would happen - when cancer blows up that fast and big, it's pretty much over. He spent the last days reviewing his life, talking to people from the past.
Thankfully, his brother made it there the day before he died.
It really hasn't hit me yet. I think I have a huge callus over my heart. I can't take in any more grief right now. Full up.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Uncle Ron Update
He does not have cancer in his brain. But he has a huge mass in his abdomen, spreading from his kidneys. It's inoperable, untreatable. So he's back in his house, hospice will be coming, and now we just wait.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Last.fm is feeding my Billie Holliday addiction
She has the best phrasing, EVER. Also on this station is Carmen MacRae, Sarah Vaughn (another favorite of mine), and Aretha. Boy, I cannot remember how I got here. Whatever it was, I was brilliant, then matched in brilliance by last.fm's algorithms.
Ah, I remember - I got here via Etta James. Love her!
Mortality
My little girl turned 7 yesterday. We had an ice cream cake and a friend of hers over - it was a lot of fun. In the middle of it, I thought, "You made it to 7! Yay!" Because, of course, her older brother didn't.
My Uncle Ron, who has prostate cancer, is in bad shape. He and his wife Cassie live in Crawford, NE. My parents moved there to be closer to them; he's my mom's brother. Since I was in college, I've viewed Ron and Cassie as another set of parents, and they've viewed me and my siblings as their kids. When we saw him in November, he was thin but doing okay. Now, he's lost 40 pounds, Cassie tells me. And he's in a lot of pain. So he's in the hospital, waiting for the results of an MRI. The fear is that the cancer has spread to his brain.
Thinking back to my pastor, Bob Scholz, who died of a brain tumor, I realize that my uncle has some of the same symptoms he had. Memory issues, mostly.
So I don't know. It could also be an infection. The MRI and CT scans will let us know more info.
My sister flew out there this morning. I just don't feel I can go. I spoke with both Ron and Cass yesterday, and will continue to call them. My husband Rick will be out of town (in sunny San Diego - the Coronado, no less!) starting Monday, so I would have to take Julia with me, and I just can't see having her see someone else die. David at least looked and acted fairly normal right up until he died. And he was home. And she was only 3, so really pretty unaware of what was going on. It's very different for a 7 year old. And to go to a hospital - I don't know.
Julia's birthday party is tomorrow - 12 girls beading mobiles - and Aunt Julie will not be there. I told J that Aunt Julie was going to visit Uncle Ron because he was sick and in the hospital. She nodded. Then a few minutes later she asked, "Why can't Aunt Julie come to my party?" I said, "Because, frankly, she thinks Uncle Ron is going to die, and if she doesn't go now, she won't be able to see him again." Julia asked, "Is he going to die?" I said, "I don't know, honey. We're trying to figure out what's wrong with him."
That's the best I can do right now.
I heard from a friend of mine that her boss's daughter has a malignant brain tumor. I of course sent lots of advice, including the thought that just because we had an unhappy ending doesn't mean they will.
When I told Rick and Julie, Julie gasped. And I said, "We're going to hear more of this kind of thing than other people, because of who we are and what we've gone through."
And I am honored to hear from people dealing with cancer. Anything I can do to help navigate these shoals, that's what I want to do.
Cancer, cancer, cancer. It sucks.
My Uncle Ron, who has prostate cancer, is in bad shape. He and his wife Cassie live in Crawford, NE. My parents moved there to be closer to them; he's my mom's brother. Since I was in college, I've viewed Ron and Cassie as another set of parents, and they've viewed me and my siblings as their kids. When we saw him in November, he was thin but doing okay. Now, he's lost 40 pounds, Cassie tells me. And he's in a lot of pain. So he's in the hospital, waiting for the results of an MRI. The fear is that the cancer has spread to his brain.
Thinking back to my pastor, Bob Scholz, who died of a brain tumor, I realize that my uncle has some of the same symptoms he had. Memory issues, mostly.
So I don't know. It could also be an infection. The MRI and CT scans will let us know more info.
My sister flew out there this morning. I just don't feel I can go. I spoke with both Ron and Cass yesterday, and will continue to call them. My husband Rick will be out of town (in sunny San Diego - the Coronado, no less!) starting Monday, so I would have to take Julia with me, and I just can't see having her see someone else die. David at least looked and acted fairly normal right up until he died. And he was home. And she was only 3, so really pretty unaware of what was going on. It's very different for a 7 year old. And to go to a hospital - I don't know.
Julia's birthday party is tomorrow - 12 girls beading mobiles - and Aunt Julie will not be there. I told J that Aunt Julie was going to visit Uncle Ron because he was sick and in the hospital. She nodded. Then a few minutes later she asked, "Why can't Aunt Julie come to my party?" I said, "Because, frankly, she thinks Uncle Ron is going to die, and if she doesn't go now, she won't be able to see him again." Julia asked, "Is he going to die?" I said, "I don't know, honey. We're trying to figure out what's wrong with him."
That's the best I can do right now.
I heard from a friend of mine that her boss's daughter has a malignant brain tumor. I of course sent lots of advice, including the thought that just because we had an unhappy ending doesn't mean they will.
When I told Rick and Julie, Julie gasped. And I said, "We're going to hear more of this kind of thing than other people, because of who we are and what we've gone through."
And I am honored to hear from people dealing with cancer. Anything I can do to help navigate these shoals, that's what I want to do.
Cancer, cancer, cancer. It sucks.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Email Move Successful - only slightly painful
I finally just copied my .pst, downloaded the Exchange profile, and ran it. It did indeed wipe everything out, but I just opened the old data file and am now combining everything. Not too painful. Always pays to take one's time and be patient. Good ideas will come.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Off for the evening
Will be back to tackle my email issues in the morning. It may involve upgrading to Outlook 2007. Pray for me.
Email Blues
Moving to a new Exchange server. Doesn't work, freezes Outlook. Very distracting. I can't even do POP3 or IMAP. Thank goodness there is web access, but that is just not the same. I'm tempted to try the .prf file, but I am afraid of losing all my email!!!! GAK! Sometimes I hate technology.
health care
good info in this video. not so sure about jorge, but dr. oz rocks - what a great, simple explanation of the dangers of obesity:
Emailing from websites....
I posted from a website to Posterous, and got these HUGE emails from the website. Posterous is supposed to propagate to this blog, my tumblr account, facebook and twitter. So far, no propagation - guess it was TOO LONG.
From now on, I will just cut and paste URLs in future.
From now on, I will just cut and paste URLs in future.
My First Posterous Post
testing posterous out. man, there are a lot of tools out there. don't know if i can keep up.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Cleaning Up and Out
I have now cleaned/straightened/lightened:
* my dresser top
* my top dresser drawer
* part of my linen closet
* the junk drawer in my kitchen
* my bathroom vanity
I have thrown away a LOT of stuff, rearranged things, moved things.
And in the process, I realize why I can do this only now. There's a lot of David stuff buried beneath 3 1/2 years of accumulation.
I'm having moments. I miss that boy so much.
I'm putting some things I find into "David Souvenirs" boxes. Others (like all the stickers he brought home from the hospital) I'm leaving in place. Julia likes the stickers (David made sure to bring stickers home for her - he was a good big brother).
* my dresser top
* my top dresser drawer
* part of my linen closet
* the junk drawer in my kitchen
* my bathroom vanity
I have thrown away a LOT of stuff, rearranged things, moved things.
And in the process, I realize why I can do this only now. There's a lot of David stuff buried beneath 3 1/2 years of accumulation.
I'm having moments. I miss that boy so much.
I'm putting some things I find into "David Souvenirs" boxes. Others (like all the stickers he brought home from the hospital) I'm leaving in place. Julia likes the stickers (David made sure to bring stickers home for her - he was a good big brother).
Thoughts for Tuesday
I walked home from dropping the car off for an oil change - hooray! I can walk again, now that I have two, count them, two new hips!
Anyway, I was coming to the corner of my street, thinking about whether to stay on this side of the street or cross over to the other side, when I saw a bicyclist coming toward me. In an instant, several thought ran through my head: "Crazy bicyclist! It's really cold! He's not going to be able to stop in time, he's going so fast, and there's snow on the street. Bicyclists: the enemy of pedestrians."
I stayed on this side of the street.
Anyway, I was coming to the corner of my street, thinking about whether to stay on this side of the street or cross over to the other side, when I saw a bicyclist coming toward me. In an instant, several thought ran through my head: "Crazy bicyclist! It's really cold! He's not going to be able to stop in time, he's going so fast, and there's snow on the street. Bicyclists: the enemy of pedestrians."
I stayed on this side of the street.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Petty annoyances
I saw a great recipe on Rachael Ray's 30-Minute Meals the other night - Asian Pork & Shrimp Meatballs. I thought, "What a great way to get my daughter to start eating shrimp, to broaden her culinary horizons a bit!" She eats a great variety of food, but is an expert at saying "No, thank you" very politely when it's something unfamiliar.
Anyway, I went to the Food Network web site - and found EVERY recipe for this week EXCEPT the meatball one. What is up with that? How annoying!
I ended up googling "pork shrimp meatball" and finding a great looking recipe at Epicurious.com.
What is the point of not publishing a recipe when you're showing it to people on your show and when people can find similar recipes online? You're just alienating your public!
Anyway, I went to the Food Network web site - and found EVERY recipe for this week EXCEPT the meatball one. What is up with that? How annoying!
I ended up googling "pork shrimp meatball" and finding a great looking recipe at Epicurious.com.
What is the point of not publishing a recipe when you're showing it to people on your show and when people can find similar recipes online? You're just alienating your public!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Cats
I turned my daughter onto LOLCats - www.icanhascheezburger.com. Oh, man, I've created a monster.
Check this one out. Birth of The cat lady http://tinyurl.com/d2q22v
Check this one out. Birth of The cat lady http://tinyurl.com/d2q22v
Details
So yesterday morning, I went out to drive my daughter to school. We climbed into the car, I put the key in the ignition, and turned it. Nothing happened. Tried again. Nothing happened.
Oops! That light in the back that I had noticed burning and forgot to turn off? Yup. Sucked all the juice out of the battery.
Luckily, my next door neighbor was just returning from her school run, so she took us to school and gave me a jump.
This time, I was very careful about the details!
Oops! That light in the back that I had noticed burning and forgot to turn off? Yup. Sucked all the juice out of the battery.
Luckily, my next door neighbor was just returning from her school run, so she took us to school and gave me a jump.
This time, I was very careful about the details!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dreams about loved ones
So a few weeks ago, I dreamt about my son David. He's no longer here on earth, having crossed over at age 6 years, 44 days.
In this dream, he was a little boy again (well, littler than 6, anyway!), and he was sitting with his sister Julia. They were both about 2-3 years old. And they were laughing so hard at me. David just thought I was hilarious. I think it was because I was so worried about whether or not I'd see him again. I was going through some fear - what if this is all there is? What if there is no heaven? Could I stand it? Ooh, just writing about it chills my heart.
But I realize that even if that were true, I wouldn't know, because if there's nothing there, then I won't be there, either. So I can forget that worry.
And he came to visit me in my dream anyway.
I do believe we come from somewhere and go back there when we're done here.
So then David came back last week. Ooh, poor little thing, coming back for me. He was wearing a red sweater and red corduroy pants (he loved to wear red clothes when he was here), and he sort of looked at me as if to say, "Okay, you wanted me here, so I'm here" with a sort of wistful look. Then he entered earth - he was here with us - and was wearing red footie pajamas.
I was so thrilled he was here! I did a doubletake, and he nodded that he was really back on earth. I looked around to see if anyone was there to confirm that he really was there! And Julia was there, and she saw him, too! So it was real!
Then my mom and my sister were there. Don't know where my husband Rick was. Kind of wierd that I left him out of this dream.
He was big, like he was when he was 6, and heavy. I picked him up, and it was so great to hold him. So I held David, and we all talked to him and were so happy to see him. Julia knew, though, that it couldn't last, and then David started shrinking.
He was still sick, just like when he was here. And just like 3 1/2 years ago, he faded away. And I said goodbye, and thank you, and was so glad to see him.
I miss that boy.
In this dream, he was a little boy again (well, littler than 6, anyway!), and he was sitting with his sister Julia. They were both about 2-3 years old. And they were laughing so hard at me. David just thought I was hilarious. I think it was because I was so worried about whether or not I'd see him again. I was going through some fear - what if this is all there is? What if there is no heaven? Could I stand it? Ooh, just writing about it chills my heart.
But I realize that even if that were true, I wouldn't know, because if there's nothing there, then I won't be there, either. So I can forget that worry.
And he came to visit me in my dream anyway.
I do believe we come from somewhere and go back there when we're done here.
So then David came back last week. Ooh, poor little thing, coming back for me. He was wearing a red sweater and red corduroy pants (he loved to wear red clothes when he was here), and he sort of looked at me as if to say, "Okay, you wanted me here, so I'm here" with a sort of wistful look. Then he entered earth - he was here with us - and was wearing red footie pajamas.
I was so thrilled he was here! I did a doubletake, and he nodded that he was really back on earth. I looked around to see if anyone was there to confirm that he really was there! And Julia was there, and she saw him, too! So it was real!
Then my mom and my sister were there. Don't know where my husband Rick was. Kind of wierd that I left him out of this dream.
He was big, like he was when he was 6, and heavy. I picked him up, and it was so great to hold him. So I held David, and we all talked to him and were so happy to see him. Julia knew, though, that it couldn't last, and then David started shrinking.
He was still sick, just like when he was here. And just like 3 1/2 years ago, he faded away. And I said goodbye, and thank you, and was so glad to see him.
I miss that boy.
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